


All for Some Ale

by Emky, ikitty2



Series: Land of Loratia [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Bar, But that's kinda strange, Drinking, Eh whatever floats your boat, I Mean you could ship her with the ship?, Mild Language, Other, Pirates, heh puns, story telling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:18:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5348870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emky/pseuds/Emky, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikitty2/pseuds/ikitty2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary is once again up to her old bar shenanigans. Please sit back, relax, and buy your beer after her tale, lest you catch her eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All for Some Ale

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for taking the time to read my works! Enjoy!

Hello my name happens to be Mary King Jackson. Captain of a bunch of swashbuckling scalawags that couldn't be better men if they tried! We sail around the vast seas and scout out for adventure, treasure, and saucy lasses! In fact, that reminds me of a tail back when I had..."procured" my ship. *jumps on the table* THERE I was amidst a crowd of ignorant civilians staring at the most beautiful sight to have ever been seen. Glenda, ah her bow was sleek, her sails billowing in the wind. I couldn't help but imagine what steering a beaut like her across the ocean would feel like, so *gazes around at the crowd* I devised me a plan, ah but you folks probably don't want to hear about it and my throat is getting rather sore I think I may just *crowd protests* hmm oh? Well perhaps a drink may soften me up to spill the rest *looks pointedly at bar tender* but if not well I think I will just excu-*gets handed drink, then chugs it*

NOW THEN! I had come up with a plan it required some rope, a fake beard, a deck of cards, and my first mate Roddy. Now the ship's captain was QUITE the dull man, a true servant to his country, bound by rules and restrictions. Captain Ross was his name. He was quite the undoubtable asshole, a man who questioned a woman's intelligence as well as her virtue. His hair was balding and a mole could be found on his face just to the right of his nose. He wore what most captains of such a dull background wore. A simple hat and coat with boots that reached mid calf. Now here's how the plan starts, Glenda was to stay at the dock for just two weeks, so I ended up dressing as a fellow sailor and speaking with Ross's crew, making friends and gambling with the lot of them. Now here's something you should know about a gal like me. I never lose, *smirks at the disbelieving looks* at least when it comes to the cards. If you don't believe me, you can always *gives a cocky grin* test your luck. So *fake cough*  
dear me seems like my throat is dry again I may have to leave the rest for lat-*gets another drink, and chugs that as well* MUCH better! Thank you my friend! *beams at the man giving her the drinks* as I was saying. I don't lose at the sweet temptress of cards, so rumors soon spread on my good fortune. Reaching Ross's ears in a matter of days. 

So the man comes up to me, as the beard I had looked rather unmistakable, and he inquired if he could sit with me, and as he sat he praised me on my skill, and offered to buy me a drink, well as my crew will tell you, I never say no to a free drink. And as the night went on he continued to purchase drinks for me until he came up with the brilliant idea of playing cards. *raises eyebrows and stares at the crowd* It's almost like he thought me being drunk would win him some favors. So four games later I won the shirt off his back and thanked him for the free ale. Now that was only the first phase of my plan, Ross was not a gracious loser. So the man came back to me with his entire crew in tow, he said he would like to play one more game. *clears throat and looks at the drink giver, he slowly pushes his drink towards her. She smiles as she slowly drinks it, enjoying the impatient looks of the crowd*  
now Ross's argument was very...persuasive, I mean what gun isn't?

So as I played what Ross thought would be my last game, the strangest thing happened the ship started to sail away on its own. Now you all may be thinking "now Mary, how can a ship move on its own?" Well I am here to tell you that I didn't tell you what the rope was used for, nore where Roddy was. Well as good old Ross riled up his crew, he left the deck hand behind to watch the ship as I thought he would, so during the game Rody snuck onto the ship and tied up the poor lad. And as I stalled for time he readied the ship to set sail. So as I won once again, the ship started to set out and as the crew and Ross stared at the ship with mouths open like gasping fish, I made my exit. I ran like the devil himself was on my heals. And can I just say that the man is a poor shot? Hell even his entire fucking crew couldn't shoot me! So I jumped into the water and swam out to the ship as Ross was screaming his head off saying I was a dead man. As I climbed up the ladder to the deck, good old Roddy, yelled back. "Beware the dreaded Pirate Queen Bloody Mary!" And as I took the helm, I looked back to see Ross's face frozen in shock. And to this day I still remember his bulging eyes as he realized that he was bested by a cross dressing woman. *Gets a dreamy look on her face* Me and Glenda have been together ever since. Now...who's up for a game!?!

**Author's Note:**

> This story is one of many short stories that me and my partner are creating. There are many characters and ideas, I'm new to this, so any tips are welcome.


End file.
